How 'Yes, And'​ Makes Us Better Collaborators

Posted March 17, 2023 By Kelsey Brennan

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Kelsey Brennan, Core Company Actor and Director of APT's Professional Development Programs, believes there's an art to collaboration, and it begins with opening up conversations and unlocking possibilities between you and your team. Evaluate your communication style this week in Kelsey's new blog post!


Every time you see a play, you’re watching the product of weeks of collaboration. If it’s improv or sketch comedy, you may be witnessing that collaboration in real time.

Making theatre is very much a “team sport,” with each player filling their respective role and supporting their cast mates as they work towards a common goal. When it’s successful, it’s likely because the players are using an essential tool of the trade: yes, and.

What is Yes, And?

Yes, and is a sort of ‘golden rule’ of improv. In order to successfully craft a story or sketch, a group of artists must accept the ideas offered by their scene partners, and build upon them. In other words, if your partner walks into an improvised scene and says, “Hello, Mom,” and you respond with, “I’m not your mother, I’m Santa Claus!” you’ve negated the offered idea, and stopped the story in its tracks. A response using yes, and might sound like, “Hi there, son! Why aren’t you in school?” This response accepts the given offer, and adds onto it.

The ensemble of Pericles. Photo by Liz Lauren.
 

The same concept can be applied to the workplace to create a culture of acceptance and inclusion. Whether you’re in a high stakes meeting, consulting with a client, or ordering a coffee, using yes, and can lead to thoughtful and collaborative communication. It can make room for new ideas and different perspectives. It can also bolster empathy and boost our emotional intelligence.

How Does it Work?

Let’s think about how communication normally goes. Of course, there is an infinite number of ways we may respond to an idea, an opinion, a need, or a want, but those responses typically fall into four categories or ways of thinking:

No.

“We should schedule an all-team meeting for Monday.”

No, we should do it later in the week.”

Laura Rook and Jamal James in She Stoops to Conquer. Photo by Liz Lauren.


It happens to the best of us. Our colleague puts forth an offer and we just can’t resist pushing our own agenda, right out of the gate. Even if your intentions are pure or you’re motivated by efficiency—this is a clear collaboration killer. We’ve got better options.

Yes, but.

“I think we should have the holiday party catered.”

Yes, but I think a potluck would be much more fun.”

You’re saying yes, right? Well, not really. Yes, but talk is, most times, just a thinly veiled no. It may sound like collaboration, but it ultimately this response lacks acceptance and furthers your own opinion or idea.

Phoebe González and Josh Krause in She Stoops to Conquer. Photo by Liz Lauren. 


Yes, and.

“We should schedule an all-team meeting for Monday.”

Yes, and let’s compare our calendars to make sure Monday is a good option.”

When it comes down to it, it’s about listening, respecting the point of view of your coworker, and accepting their opinion as is all before you’ve added your own ideas into the mix. This isn’t about needlessly agreeing or giving up your own position, it’s about communicating with generosity and self-regulation.

Jimmy DeVita and Colleen Madden in Arcadia. Photo by Liz Lauren.


Yes.

“I think we should have the holiday party catered.”

“Yes.”

And speaking of giving up your own position, sometimes yes just isn’t enough on its own. True collaboration requires honesty and authenticity, and this can require more energy than a simple yes. Even if you agree, when you hold back from the conversation, you may be inadvertently putting the onus on your coworker to do the work or carry out the action items. Who do you think will end up calling that caterer?

Andrea San Miguel and Kelsey Brennan in A Flea in Her Ear. Photo by Liz Lauren.


How Do I Do It?

The cycle of yes, and can be broken down into four steps:

Offer—this is anything someone says or does. It could be an opinion, point of view, need, want, belief, or even body language. This is where it all starts.

Awareness—seems simple enough, but the first thing you need to do is listen—and really listen. This involves presence, attentiveness, and true generosity. What is being offering and why? Why might your colleague’s position be important to them? Would you be able to paraphrase it back?

Acceptance—for me, this step is the whole point. After listening, and before jumping in with your own opinion, you must accept the reality of your partner’s offer. What they believe, feel, or want is true for them whether or not you agree. In fact, agreement has nothing to do with it. This is about embracing and acknowledging their offer. This is about respect and inclusion.

Additionfinally, you get to jump in with your own thoughts! You’ve listened, you’ve accepted the reality of their position, and now you get to say what you think! This could be another idea, an amendment, or a true counter-argument.

Give it a try!

How would your workday change if you spent just a of couple hours responding in the spirit of yes, and? What might become possible for you and your colleagues?

To learn more about yes, and as well as collaboration and public speaking skills based in theatre philosophy, check out APT’s Professional Development Programs.

Interested in learning more about APT's Professional Development Program? Reach out today!